Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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