Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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