remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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