are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
