so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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