I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
