when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
