We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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