the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
