I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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