I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
