i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
