I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
