Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
