I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
