Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
