Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
