Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
