I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
