Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
