Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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