I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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