Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This is the high leading the old right now
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize