it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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