she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
