Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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