yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
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If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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