the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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