whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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