seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
