scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
