iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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