More tranny stories later!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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