WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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