the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
