Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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