The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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