She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
