Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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