This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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