I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
