I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Still dying that you shit outside
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Randomize
