I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
