at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
