It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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