She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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