I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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