Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
