dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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