my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
