I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize