just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
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So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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