my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My bed smells like the plague
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