The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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