Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
