I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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