just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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