She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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