i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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