we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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