I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
